I’ve found some pretty funny reviews of Fullerton establishments on Yelp, which is a helpful website when you’re trying to figure out which places are worth a try and which are damn near close to toxic. But who in their right mind reviews a Del Taco or a Carl’s Jr.? I mean, you don’t have to be from Fullerton to know what to expect at large, national chains.

These reviews do make for some funny reading though…

McDonald’s

I’m not sure if this woman is confused about the hours of the McDonald’s on Malvern, or making things up, or what? It seems kind of hard to believe that the employees just close up shop early (wouldn’t their manager notice?):

This McDonald, although it is supposed to be 24 hours tends to close frequently because the one cashier can’t handle the crowd. There has been a time where I waited TOO long at the drive thru with two other cars behind me only to angrily drive around and realize there was NO ONE in the Mcdonalds. If you’re going to leave early at least have the decency to leave a darn sign.

At least Vince finds their food tasty. But then, who needs to read a review on Yelp to know what they should get at MickeyD’s?!

I like the Double-Quarter pounder, large fries, large coke.  I love thier nuggets, breakfast and breakfast sandwiches, especially the sausage mcmuffin with a hash brown,  sometimes i [sic] stick the hashbrown [sic] in the sandwich.

Carl’s Jr.

This guy gave the Carl’s on Euclid 5 stars because he likes the Big Carl commercials. Too bad he doesn’t know how to spell “Big Mac,” and doesn’t realize that the Big Carl has an ungodly amount of fat to go along with the whole “more meat and cheese” tag line.

Carls is Carls, you know what you are getting when you walk in the door. Sure may they throw a Green Burrito in the mix, yeah maybe; but again Carls is Carls. So you may ask why 5 stars? Well I am here to tell you; the blatant slap in the face Carls through at Mickie D’s with the Big Carl, is Frickin’ hilarious! I love the commercial so much I had to go get me a Big Carl. To my surprise, the Big Carl is a border line tasty sandwich! Is it better than the Big Mach [sic], I don’t know, nor do I care. I just hope McDonald’s throws down a Biatch slap on Carls now. Nothing like pure unadulterated food smack down! Ha the Big Carl!

Unfortunately for old man Karcher, those witty commercials couldn’t save the Carl’s on Chapman at Raymond. Two people deemed it to have the worst service of any Carl’s in the area and gleefully reported it’s closure.

Taco Bell

Vince–the same Vince who loves McDonald’s Double-Quarter Pounder, fries, nuggets, and Sausage McMuffin–also left this hilariously detailed review of the Double Decker Taco he had at the Taco Bell on Orangethorpe. The dude loves his fast food!

The doubledecker had the amazing crunch from the crunchy taco inside creating a decadent resistant emulating plate techtonics.  The lettuce despite being cradled inside a larger than life tortilla had an amazing freshness I could only describe as, “Lechuga.”  The cheese brings everything together much like a Dijon sauce over entree & side & salad.  Finally, If I had to pick one processed beef, it would be this one, the grainy course feeling of well grounded beef hits every side of my refined palet. [sic]

The outer taco had a soft, voluptous flour tortilla which embraced the whole of the ingredients.  Gently touching the taste buds on the skyline of my mouth and laying beautifully on my tongue.  The beans provide the tortilla with extra flavor and blend the flavors of the tortilla with the cruncy taco inside.  With every bite, you get the crunchy on the inside, softened by the pleasant flour tortilla and beans.

By far the best part of his comment was the review of his Pepsi, though:

The fountain pepsi had the right ingredients blended in, just enough fizz for me without becoming fizz.  The ice was perfect, did not melt to quickly, so the soda did not become flat until I had finished it.

Del Taco

This Del Taco seems to have gotten good reviews purely because it is close to Cal State Fullerton. Every reviewer mentioned their alma mater in one way or the other:

• Kiki managed to remember direct quotes from the cashier, even though she admits to being drunk. Hope she didn’t drive there.
• Cindy, a CSUF grad student, appreciates that you can get 3 chicken soft tacos for $2.09.
• David also liked the soft tacos during college, and added that this particular DT is older than he is (27).
• Martin moved away after school and ponders why taco bell is so much more popular, and bemoans the lack of Del Tacos in Nor Cal.

p.s. I gave up putting all the [sic] notifications after the bad grammar and spelling. Just assume that all the crazy writing is from the same crazy people who review fast food places, and not a mistake I made while quoting them.

Everyone is into “local” these days. Surely you’ve heard of the locavore movement that encourages people to buy food produced nearby their home? Buying locally grown produce and cheese, meat, bread, etc is a great way to reduce all of the pollution created by transporting food long distances. It’s also a wonderful way to help out small family farms that are right in your neck of the woods.

Buying locally created artwork and crafts has some of the same benefits. It’s a great way to support American craftspeople and artisans in this down economy. It’s also a good way to find high quality goods (no shoddy assembly line junk shipped to you courtesy of the People’s Republic here!) that are unique and have personality.

Here are 10 Fullerton-based artists who create great t-shirts, jewelry, pocketbooks, toys, and more…

The Head Shop

The Head Shop has a wonderful talent with silk screening. Everything is done by hand, from drawing the designs to creating the screens to printing them on shirts, bags and aprons. Fullerton peeps will especially love the “Going Downtown Fullerton” series, though I think my fav is the Day of the Dead Head shirt.

Tinkerella

Considering that Fullerton is just a few miles up Harbor Blvd. from the Happiest Place on Earth, it’s not surprising that it has inspired the creative work of Tinkerella. She makes the cutest–and I mean CUTEST–costumes and outfits for kids that are all Disney inspired.

Quiet Doing

If irony and retro were to have children, Quite Doing‘s great iPod cases, wallets, shirts, and pocket books are what they’d look like. I mean, who wouldn’t love an iPod case that has a record player on the outside? I also love her Qwerty Pocketbook.

Katrina’s Jewel

The beautiful jewelry in the Katrina’s Jewel shop is about as handmade as it comes. All of the metal fabrication and finishing, all the fused glass cabochons, all the kiln-firing and annealing is done by hand. She creates beautiful and unique rings, necklaces, and earrings. I especially love this turquoise pendant.

Sweet Perversion Designs

I really love the stationary sets from the Sweet Perversion shop. Need to say thank you with a sense of humor? They’ve got you covered. Congratulate a friend on her pregnancy? Let’s hope the pregnancy hormones have calmed down. But even if you’re not that bold (crazy?), they have plenty of nice paper products (moving and baby announcements, Valentines Day cards, etc) and charming pocket mirrors that are sure to offend no one.

White Wax Flower

It’s hard not to smile when you read that the artist behind White Wax Flower describes her style as “somewhere between French Chic, Farmhouse, and Nautical.” Her sweet line drawings of party dresses, automobiles, and sail boats all have their various parts labeled in French. I can think of a number of different rooms (baby’s room, sun room, breakfast nook…) that would be improved by her charming prints.

DigADig

If you are a mommy to a stylish little girl, then DigADig is definitely a shop you will want to bookmark. Her ribbon barrettes are very cute, but the vintage Vera napkins turned into little shirt dresses are even cuter.

Form Fire Glassworks

Form Fire Glassworks makes beautiful, modern beads out of unique, and sometimes exotic art glass. I love that the listings tell you exactly about every part of the materials and how the beads were made. That’s one of the great things about something handmade, you have the opportunity to learn that the glass used is from Italy, or that a particular set of beads was created while the bead was created by making a “hand pulled twistie.”

Christine Bee Luxury Knits

All this rain and cold weather we’ve been having has given me ample opportunity to bust out my scarves and gloves, but they don’t hold a candle to the beautiful works of art knitted up by Christine Bee. Check out their fingerless gloves made out of merino wool with a lace pattern. This vintage-inspired mohair scarf looks pretty cozy too.

Asher Jasper

Let’s say you’re best friend’s kid is having her third birthday party next month, and you really want to give him something unique and natural and fun. And let’s say you really want to buy something handmade and local. Asher Jasper to the rescue! What little boy wouldn’t love a plush monster that he can stuff in his pocket and whip out whenever a cootie-carrying girl passes by?